How Do You Feel About the Bottom Line?

"Haven't we already decided this?" I thought to myself as my clients launched into a discussion about an issue, that, to my mind, we had already resolved weeks ago. Yet again, I was about to relearn the lesson of client-centeredness, originally imparted to me in law school. If I am going to remain dedicated to the concept of facilitative mediation, it meant we were going to hash out this same issue, again, and perhaps with a different result.

But at what point is it my job to direct the mediation, preventing us from going over and over the same issues time after time? I think the answer is, perhaps unsurprisingly, a fine balance. I don't want to hijack the mediation agenda, but it is probably my responsibility to keep things moving. I bill by the hour, and I also have my clients' budgets on my mind - I try to be respectful of their financial situations. I've found that when I bring the amount of time and money that we've spent on any given issue to their attention, they quickly become more focussed and directed. While I want to encourage discussion, I also feel it's my duty to enable efficiency.

However, this is also potentially their only chance to be heard, in a real way, by the other party. So once again, it's a thin line between active listening and over-validation. And I try my best to let my clients decide whether or not we're ready to move on - I just want to make sure they have all the information to decide whether or not they want to linger.